-Lost Dog: Answers to Skippy. Last seen in the ocean.
-Please send pants
-Found the Lindbergh baby. Not that cute anymore.
-*A single tear*
-I think I left the back door unlocked
-I’m staying on this island until they bring back Community #sixseasonsandamovie
-I’m allergic to sand
-Did I miss Coachella?
-This is the happiest I’ve ever been.
-Lost: one bottle
-Use the enclosed $10 to buy Nickelback’s latest album
-I went to a deserted island and all I got was this bottle
-I went to a deserted island and all I got was crabs

—R. Lackner and B. Rudeen