Quiz: What Kind Of Leaf Are You?

1. Describe your ideal fall study session:

1. A warm pumpkin spice latte and good company at Atticus.
2. Knocking back a Celcius in Marx at 11:58pm for a PSET due at midnight. 
3. Flowing with the wind and letting nature choose your path.

2.  Pick a fall fashion essential:

1. Residential college-branded sweaters and crewnecks.
2. Chunky boots. 
3. A tasteful ensemble in red and yellow.

3. Which fall song are you playing on repeat to convince yourself that those are happy tears?

1. “Sweater Weather” by The Neighbourhood
2. “Monster Mash” by Bobby Pickett 
3. The haunting melodies of the wind and drumming rain harmonics blending seamlessly in this beautiful sonata we call life. 

4. Pumpkin spice is back in season! What’s your favorite pumpkin spice-flavored item?

1. Pumpkin Spice Latte.
2. Trader Joes’ Pumpkin Spice Pretzels.
3. If it’s not glucose-rich, ionized, and straight from the sun, I don’t want it!

 5.  If you were a fall dessert, which one would you be? 

1. Pumpkin pie.
2. Maple-glazed old-fashioned donut.
3. A light, crispy earth-to-mouth experience with a full 0.3 grams of fiber.

6.  Finally, what quintessential Halloween costume are you wearing this year?

1. Slutty cat.
2. Slutty nurse.
3. Refined and virtuous leaf. 

If you answered mostly a’s or b’s: 

You’re not a leaf. Try to participate in photosynthesis or cell elongation or before you start claiming you’re a leaf. Grow a petiole; let’s be honest, you’re a sapling at best.  

If you answered mostly d’s:

*rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle rustle crunch crunch rustle rustle flap flap flap flap shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

–E. McMullen