- That they are your 18th therapist
- That you’re verified on WebMD
- That they can sit on the couch this time around
- That you bought a slightly nicer version of their car
- That their time is up, and you charge by the hour
- That they can schedule a follow up appointment if they have any more questions
- That they try being vulnerable and letting their guard down
- That they should try going on Prozac
- That you can run a seven minute mile
- That you smoked a blunt with their twelve year-old son
—Staff