- Bass Library LEGO set
- Hammer for destroying the LEGO Bass Library
- Life-size Yale Shuttle toy that always shows up when you need it and is always going the right direction
- Harvard-student-shaped stress ball
- Advance copy of Fifty Shades of ‘Vey, a novel detailing Peter Salovey’s sexual escapades
- Heart-shaped locket with a picture of Handsome Dan XVII on the left and a picture of Handsome Dan XVIII on the right
- Lifetime supply of Blue State coffee
- Lifetime supply of Koffee? coffee
- Lifetime supply of Donut Crazy coffee
- Exterminating agent for whatever species of coffee bean is used to make Yale coffee
- Christmas lights powered by Yorkside pizza grease
- Party balloon that increases grades when inflated
- Cardboard cutout of Jonathan Holloway
- Some direction in life
—R. Mirchandani
