Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Pilfered Pharmaceuticals

Encyclopedia took in the details of the place. Aisles of shelves stacked with odor-eaters and prescription drugs went off in every direction. At the rear of the store, there was an old-fashioned soda fountain and an ice-cream freezer. Behind these was the counter, where the three children saw old doc Kreegan himself. He was only three feet tall, and wore green.

“Hello, old doc Kreegan,” said Encyclopedia.

“Why hello there boys. Sally. What can I do for you youngsters today?”

“We actually need to know who your regular soda-jerk is,” stated Sally. “You see, poor Abdul here—”

“You’ll want to talk to Bugs Meany, then. He signed on last week. Hasn’t shown up for work since yesterday. Too bad too, I gave him the key to the stockroom just yesterday. I sure would like it back—my dog’s in there, and he misses me.”

“Mr. Kreegan,” asked Encyclopedia carefully, “do you keep much lye in the storeroom?” Sally gasped dramatically, as the full meaning of Encyclopedia’s probing question slowly came to her. Abdul coughed weakly and shyly picked his nose.

“Why, yes Encyclopedia, I do keep a few pounds in stock for the missus. Why do you ask?”

“Mr. Kreegan, perhaps you’ve forgotten; I’m asking the questions. I think I only need to ask you one more, though. Do you own a Winnebago?”

“Well as a matter of fact Encyclopedia—” Mr. Kreegan’s reply was cut short by a series of strangled gargling noises from Abdul. He fell to his knees, gazing longingly at the sight of Greta, there in the doorway, smiling at them with her perfect teeth and staggering dimples. Her dainty little hands played with the mounds of golden curls that lay atop her head. She giggled happily and looked toward Abdul, who rose and moved to greet her.

“No! Stop!!!” said Encyclopedia. “She’s got a large butcher knife under her dress!! She’s the one that ruined your throat Abdul!!”

HOW DID ENCYCLOPEDIA KNOW?

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Encyclopedia’s keen perceptions noticed “Greta’s” blonde curls. Greta was auburn-haired! When Encyclopedia removed her wig, his suspicions were confirmed as Bugs Meany stood revealed.

As a closet transvestite, Bugs had repressed the gentler side of his nature for so long that it developed into a separate persona. Over time, “Greta” became more dominant, until the conflicting personalities induced a severe schizoid breakdown in Bugs. While he could not destroy Greta, he displaced the repressed rage of his Id, focusing it on the object of “Greta’s” considerable affections.

Approaching old Doc Kreegan with a get-rich-quick scheme, Bugs soon had Kreegan under his thumb and the two set out to kill Abdul. The old codger grudgingly admitted all of this when Encyclopedia confronted him with his own ssupicisons: weeks before, Encyclopedia had seen a Winnebago run over his pet turtle.

When he told his father this, Chief Brown had the Doc sentenced to five years on a chain gang. Bugs was reprimanded and disappeared inot the Tigers’ club house to write and reflect. Abdul entered a deep coma soon after, but by then school had started and the kids were too busy to care.