Dear Yale Community,
The Yale Club for Money Investment has released the following brief statement in response to recent complaints from certain members of Yale’s student body about the club’s alleged exclusivity:
“Our club is first and foremost a place for like-minded students with a passion for money to come together. For that reason, our club will always strive to be an inclusive space that accepts everybody.*”
Much Love,
The Team ♥️
*Who is a Yale student†
†And is offered admission into the club. Sure, our 3% acceptance rate might seem daunting, but we really do encourage everyone to apply and give it a shot! We love to bring diverse voices onto the team.‡
‡As long as those voices went to private school and love that dough!§
§Making it, that is.¶
¶That’s right, cucks. Leave those moral qualms at the door. Here at the Yale Club for Money Investment, we maximize shareholder value, not smiles.#
#Look. If you’re a member of the unwashed masses and that last one upset you, please just leave us alone. It’s not that you’re unwelcome, we just want to get something done over here.||
||Without you.
–A. Hagens
