They say you don’t truly know a person until you travel with them. Friends can conceal their true nature easily when you only see them at regularly scheduled dining hall meals or 2 am Bass sob sessions. When you get to your Airbnb meant for three, which you’ll split six ways, all their nasty secrets come tumbling out. While I legally can’t disclose everything I learned about my friends on our Spring Break trip to Ft. Lauderdale, I can confidently say there were some discoveries made! 

  1. Chris wears a bejeweled fanny pack everywhere he goes. It’s not waterproof, but that doesn’t stop him from “looking fabulous” in his hour-long showers!
  2. Emily sleeps upside down when she drinks margaritas. Think drunken bat. 
  3. Sarah drinks actual human blood. She says it’s insulin, but we’re not idiots. 
  4. Lizzy tried to [redacted]. She became very upset when we asked her to stop.
  5. Jake puts his shoes on in sock, shoe, sock, shoe order. When he’s feeling particularly sticky and sweaty in the Florida heat, it’s just shoe-shoe.

I’m not sure I’ll be able to look at any of them the same way at our weekly Commons meals. Especially not Sarah – it’s now perfectly clear that she gets the bolognese every time so she can conceal the added blood. Suffice to say, the trip made it out of the group chat, but the group chat did not make it out of the trip. 

—E. Upson