The list grows every day, I find myself spending hours reading through it. Luckily, the Marine iguana just hit third place. The thrill! I love endangered species, and even more, I love endangering them. The second I heard, I booked a ticket to the Galapagos and stuffed my suitcase with four males and four females. I’m basically biblical. I’m basically Noah and the hotdogs are my arc.
But it wears on me, keeping track of all of the endangered species. Someone once told me that second place was first loser. I propose we extend that belief to third place and so on. I refuse to allow anyone or anything to never experience victory. Thus, I exclusively include the 3rd most endangered species within my hotdogs. They’ll all be winners. I make them winners. 50% of the species I’ve used have hit number one, and I did that. I took them to the top. The Dugongs and Black Footed Ferrets have lounged in the limelight for long enough, now make room for the Marine Iguana.
— S. Morfin and H. Murray-Nelson
