1. Hire a cast of spare actors to simulate the plot to see if it makes sense.

2. Collect props by sneaking into museums around the country after hours and filling your backpack with vases.

3. Use the budget you saved on vases to buy one hundred monkeys and ninety-nine typewriters. The single ape that gravitates towards Final Draft instead will be your writer.

4. Lure in an A-lister for the project using your impressive collection of antique vases (this notably works on Willem Dafoe).

5. Loose the remaining monkeys on the museums you already robbed to create a distraction from the missing ceramics.