Aye aye captain  — Greetings, captain of this fine vessel

Shiver me timbers  My timbers are shivering

Me lads be a crew o picaroons — My friends are a bunch of picaroons

Yarr be a bilge rat in me bunghole — My wife (back on land— the sea be not for a woman) is driving me crazy

Avast, wee English laddie with a piece of me treasure dancin’ the hempin jig – be he goated with the hardtack?— Quirked up white boy with a little bit of swag busts it down sexual style — is he goated with the sauce?

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea  🎶SpongeBob SquarePants🎶

Absorbant and yellow and porous is he — My first mate is jaundiced

These islands be rich with wenches — At sea, every hole is a port, and every port a hole

Thar she blows! — My (landlubber) wife found out about the wenches. She used my loot to hire a barrister and now she’s filing for divorce. I care not, for the sea is my mistress and this vessel my love

Davy Jones — David Jones

Yo ho ho — My wife’s barrister was quite sly. He won the case and has claimed my ship, my crew, and worst of all, my lifetime’s work of plunder

Arrggh! Me doubloons! — Not my doubloons!


—H. Rubin and Z. Goodman