“No soup for you!” is one of the most iconic lines from the hit show Seinfeld. It birthed into this world a character we all reference nearly 30 years later. But most people don’t know that the Soup Nazi almost didn’t say “no soup for you!” The line was just one on a list with 61 alternatives. There’s no telling if any of the others would have become such a pop culture phenomenon. That’s not for us to decide. So without further ado, here’s the full list:

  1. I’m not giving you any soup.
  2. You’re not getting any soup from me.
  3. Soup? Fat chance.
  4. Soup? Ha. Hey, why don’t you come back tomorrow? I’ll get you some soup tomorrow for sure. Heh.
  5. If you think I’m giving you any soup, you must be new in town.
  6. No way am I giving you any soup.
  7. You think you’re getting soup? You’d better think again.
  8. Soup? You and what army?
  9. Soup? Kid, you’d be lucky to get a bowl.
  10. Soup? Yeah, right.
  11. Soup? Kid, I was born at night, sure – but not last night.
  12. You want a bowl of soup? Keep dreaming.
  13. You’re not having soup.
  14. Soup? What? What’s the deal with that?
  15. Soup? You must think I’m kind of slow on the draw.
  16. One soup, coming up – NOT.
  17. Soup? Oy vey.
  18. Sure, I got your soup – air soup.
  19. Soup? What, you take the slow train from Hicksville or something?
  20. Soup? Soup? Jokes like that, you oughta go into the joke business.
  21. Soup? When pigs fly.
  22. Soup? Not if I have any say in that.
  23. Soup? You bozo.
  24. Soup? Yeah, I’ll get you some soup. Hey, happy Opposite Day, sucker.
  25. Soup? Yeah, you can have a small cup of soup – that’ll be five million dollars.
  26. Soup? Yikes.
  27. Soup? Yeesh.
  28. No soup for you!!
  29. Soup? Hey, this guy thinks he’s getting soup! Hey, why don’t you get a cup of blood from the stone store while you’re at it?
  30. Soup? Don’t make me laugh.
  31. Soup? I haven’t laughed like that in a long time.
  32. Soup? Hey kid, this ain’t Albany.
  33. Soup? Sure you can have some soup – if you make it yourself!
  34. Soup? What, you major in soup over there at Cow College?
  35. Soup? You think I’m made of soup?
  36. Soup? Not in the cards for you.
  37. Soup? Nuh-uh.
  38. Soup? No, no, no.
  39. Hey, here’s your soup – psych!
  40. Here’s a nice hot bowl of soup – NOT.
  41. Soup? Coming right up – next year!
  42. Oh, you’re looking for soup? Better keep looking.
  43. Soup? You must have the wrong address, kid – this ain’t the loony bin.
  44. Soup? Not in my restaurant.
  45. Soup? What’s next, a man marrying a dog?
  46. Soup? Not today.
  47. Soup? As if.
  48. Soup? Come on.
  49. Soup? This isn’t the soup information desk.
  50. Soup? Kid, I’m busy today.
  51. Soup? You got a lot to learn about this town.
  52. Soup? Say that again, see how crazy it sounds.
  53. Soup? Sure, it’s in the East River.
  54. Soup? Not in a million years.
  55. Soup? Who do you think you are, the King of New York?
  56. Soup? Let me give you some advice, slick – get out of this town while you still can.
  57. Soup? Kid, this city’s gonna eat you alive.
  58. Soup? Wow, you must think you’re a real hot shot.
  59. Soup? Don’t try me today.
  60. I’m not your mama, kid – don’t ask me for soup.
  61. Soup? Stay hungry.
  62. Soup? Kid, you don’t know New York.

— A. Burch, K. Walsh & S. Leone

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