1. Rafferty Falls & ForestThe pride and joy of the town, Rafferty Falls remains the best place to visit during your stay. Tourists flock to the falls to take in the infamous place that shielded one couple’s forbidden love from the world, where biracial couplings were invented in town folklore by Annaliese Swenson and Colm Rafferty himself all those years ago. 
  2. Rafferty Falls Library and Swedish Cultural Center and Bar and GrillWho wouldn’t want to indulge in 5 star bar food whilst enjoying the largest collection of Sanskrit texts north of the Mississippi? Facilities include not one, but two George Foreman grills, one extremely shriveled male librarian, and a display of Swedish cultural memorabilia.
  3. Rafferty Falls World Park Why travel the world when you can experience all of its wonders from one local park? Rafferty Falls World Park features exact replicas of major monuments from across the globe. See monuments as majestic as Stonehenge, the Taj Mahal, and one controversial Twin Towers replica.
  4. Skogsfall Adult HomeA premium stopping ground for many of the town elderly. Visit this adult home if you are lacking reasons to feel grateful for your mediocre and lackluster life. Seeing the shriveled and sad old people can really boost morale.
  5. Bitchin’ and Stitchin’ Bar and GrillSpeaking of shriveled, Rafferty Falls is the home of the one-of-a-kind Bitchin’ and Stitchin’ Bar and Grill. This fine establishment entails state-of-the-art technology that allows anyone to add or remove wrinkles from their appearance. I’m not entirely sure why anyone would want to give themself wrinkles, but it’s nice to know it’s an option. 

—R. Howard