POINT: You’re A Dumb Idiot

Hey, hey stupid. Guess what? You’re a bozo. You? You’re dumb. You’re dumb as a cinder block, dumb as a donkey, dumb as dirt, dumb as donkey dirt. You’re not smart, that’s for damn sure. You don’t even know what’s going on! Thinking is not your strong suit. You’re a doofus, a moron, a great big dummy. I bet you did poorly in school, bucko. I bet you didn’t understand the material. Here’s how stupid you are: You’d sell your car to pay for gas. You’d call your own cell phone to find it by the ringtone. You probably think a urinal cake is a type of regular cake. News flash: it’s not! You’ve got cobwebs in your skull, on account of how empty it is. Seeing as you’re brainless. Idiot.

COUNTERPOINT: Hey! You’re Really Smart

Wow! You’ve got quite the head on your shoulders, huh?  Big ol’ brain alert! You’re a sharp one, there’s no denying that. You’re quite the thinker! You’re always three steps ahead: I wouldn’t want to see your face across a chessboard, that’s for sure! You always understand the material. I don’t use the word “genius” lightly, but you might fit the bill. You know how smart you are? You could solve a math problem with your eyes closed… upside down! You’d beat Albert Einstein in a “Who is Smarter” contest. When you talk, people say “Uh, English, please,” because you use big words that they don’t understand, like “circuitous” and presumably others.  Smarty.

—J. Wickline

SIMILAR ARTICLES