- To hijack that thought-bus,
- To ascend to section asshole status,
- To reiterate what the person before me just said in more eloquent language and then take credit for their originality,
- To reiterate what the person before me just said but somehow muddle what was at first a nuanced and insightful analysis but now is an incoherent thought whose weakness I will blame on the person who first spoke,
- Not to play Devil’s Advocate, but…
- Not to play Devil’s Advocate — no, I really don’t want to play Devil’s Advocate — I’m just — no, c’mon guys, don’t give me that look,
- To fill the lull in discussion with a open-ended question because I have speech anxiety and also because participation is 20% of the grade,
- To plummet my peer approval rating and thus lose my 2036 presidential campaign,
- How DARE you argue such, GOD intended that you believe…
- To mumble long enough for the teacher to give up and call on someone else,
- To prove that I am your mother,
- I AM THE REINCARNATION OF SOCRATES AND WILL NOW BEQUEATH YOU WITH MY INTELLECTUAL GENIUS.
- Yeah, I actually disagree.
—J. Kaufman-Shalett
