1. Eli Sabin robocall (10 Hour Version)

2. The dying breath of my grandfather, Ebenezer, whose Alzheimer’s had progressed far enough before my birth that I have never known him in his youthful, exuberant state of yesteryear

3. The bells of Harkness Tower during Guild of Carillonneurs rush week (or, hell, any week)

4. Every person who ever coughed during an exam

5. That clip of Nicholas Christakis getting yelled at

6. The forsaken sighs of my father, Harold, who, following the passing of my grandfather, Ebenezer, withdrew unto himself, and to whom I seldom spoke before and have not since

7. My suitemate telling me he’s now “socially liberal and fiscally conservative”

8. The ringing handbell in Berkeley reminding diners to retrieve their meats, repeated until the end of time or the end of a MATH 230 midterm, whichever comes first

9. My girlfriend telling me she’s now “fiscally liberal and socially conservative”

10. The last words of my grandfather, Ebenezer, delivered in a rasping whisper to my ear: “damn, this kinda blows, don’t it?”

E. Boesen