Dear Record, My Body Is A Temple And My Roommate Is Jewish. What Should I Do?

Dear Reader,

Thanks for writing!

We would like to reassure you that your body only stands in danger of being transmuted into the Third house of Yahweh, Beit haMikdash haShlishi, in the event your roommate adheres to the Jewish philosopher Maimonides’ view that Jews should try to rebuild the temple whenever possible. If they did, Your roommate would then, of course, attempt to turn your supple, sacred body into a lasting structure of stone ASAP. Luckily, for most Judaic philosophers, the reconstruction of the Third Temple should only occur in the era of the Jewish Messiah at the hand of Divine Providence. Just slip a quick “Do you agree with the Tanakh’s position regarding the Temple Mount?” into you and your roommate’s next heart-to-heart, and you should get all the answers you need.

Love,

The Record

– C. Baciocco