1. Facial Hair

As your son undergoes puberty, he will begin to grow a half blonde, half brown goatee. Do not be alarmed. This is completely normal for boys his age. There is no cause for concern.

 

 

  1. Portly waist

It is very natural for teenage boys to gain weight. Their bodies must pack on pounds to maintain a healthy BMI in the wake of pre-teen growth spurts. As a result, your child will most likely develop a portly waist during puberty, prominently displayed in an undersized, shiny button-down. Do not be alarmed if he gains all of this weight by gorging on Meatball Hogies drenched in Special Sauce from Sonny’s Famous Steakhouse in Fort Lauderdale.

 

    1. Hair style

Boys’ hair tends to change in both texture and color during the pubescent years. As a child, your son may have had silky, lightweight hair. During puberty, however, his hair will almost certainly grow in spiky with bleached frosted tips. Unfortunately, there is no avoiding this awkward phase, which is 100% normal and definitely nothing to worry about.

  1. Earrings

In forging his individual identity, your son might experiment with some changes in his style. For example, he will start wearing hoop earrings. This is no cause for concern. They are actually very manly and there is really nothing wrong with them, when you think about it. Stop giving him that look.

 

  1. Bodily urges

As your son’s brain is flooded with unfamiliar hormones, he will start to experience intense bodily urges. For example, he might get the urge to blurt out, “We’re taking this bus to Flavortown,” or “Hi I’m Guy Fieri and we’re rolling out, heading for America’s Greatest Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives.” Not only is this 100% fine, it is both normal and good. Embrace your new son, the Mayor of Flavortown himself.

—C. Cohen