POINT: I GO TO YALE, SO I AM SMART
It’s me, a typical Yale student. Every day, I correctly
use words like egregious and phosphorescence. In high
school, my friends and enemies all called me “Perfect Test
and Essay Girl.” One time I robbed a bank of 79 percent
of its money as a metaphor for the wage gap, as well as to
point out the flaws in the bank’s security system. I go to
Yale, which proves that I am as Smart as they say.
COUNTERPOINT: IT APPEARS THAT
I AM ONCE AGAIN TRAPPED AT THE
BOTTOM OF A VERY DARK WELL
AND CANNOT ESCAPE.
It has happened again: I have fallen into the local well
without any practical well-escaping knowledge or tools.
Now my friends and enemies are refusing to rescue me
from the bottom of this very dark well because they say
I will only fall in again tomorrow. This is likely true.
The well is not too terrible of a place to live, but I am
concerned that I will not be able to get another Dean’s
Excuse for “being at the bottom of a well and lacking the
basic skills necessary to escape.” Perhaps it is time to face
the egregious truth in all its phosphorescence: I may not
be as Smart as they say.