Why Yale?
What is it about Yale that has led you to apply? (125 words or fewer)
Let me begin by saying I would put my left nut through a paper shredder in a heartbeat to even get an interview at this wonderful school. My love for Yale began when I was in the womb; I would wave around my freshly-developed umbilical cord like a handkerchief at the end of Bright College Years. In fact, after I thrust myself out of my mother with the vigor of Handsome Dan after three protein shakes, my very first words were “holistic admissions.” While the other toddlers were learning to crawl like stupid babies, I attended a rather pricey summer program for the gifted here in New Haven to learn how to walk at an extremely early age. I made a pact with my Yale Young Global Crawlers peers that we would have a 17th reunion when we’re all back at Yale together. (If I’m accepted, could I get acceleration credits for this?)
Before I continue, I just want to make it very clear that I will be exceeding the word count by several hundred words. I believe this is fair because I am special.
Anyhow, let me tell you a little bit about my résumé. In second grade, I discovered my passion for academia when I first read my favorite book, Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (It has 545 pages, so this is very impressive). Then, soon after earning my 3rd grade multiplication license (triple summa cum laude, baby), I started an internship with my local university researching quantum metapsychology. Also, did I mention that my parents went here?
Now that you’ve gotten to know a little about me, I can answer the question: why Stanford Yale? I need look no further than the residential college system, a micro-orgasm of the Yale community, which provides students with the intimate social setting of a small college even in a mid-sized college. Moreover, from the Bikini Library to the Big Tower and all the other places my tour guide took me, I feel spiritually connected and sexually attracted to everything Gothic architecture, and that’s part of why I would never apply to the other seven Ivy League schools.
Oh, and I almost forgot to mention how much I value the importance of a liberal arts education.
Sincerely,
Aspiring Prefrosh
P.S. I already know Yale like the back of my hand, from its well-rounded curriculum to the 476.5 light bulbs that illuminate Branford College. Wouldn’t you feel bad denying me?
—S. Leone
