Corpses per dumpster
Gunshot to appalled scream ratio
Percentage of sidewalks in need of repair
Percentage of streets in need of sidewalks
Squatter to legal occupant ratio
Incidence of doe-eyed urchin pickpocketing
Percentage of doe-eyed urchins with drug addictions
Average alcohol content of breast milk
Gangs of marauding youths per block
Average time between glances over your shoulder, walking on street
Average time between glances over your shoulder, in own residence
—J. Newsham
