What’s your favorite color?
a) Firetruck Red
b) Jaundice Yellow
c) Nauseous Green
d) Disgusting Off-white
Do you squirt?
a) Yes, when squeezed
b) No
What is your melting point?
a) None in particular
b) 57.92°F
c) I am already liquid. I am always a liquid. I am trapped as a liquid.
d) 515°F
Do you contain eggs?
a) No
b) Not comfortable sharing
c) Sometimes, wink
d) Yes
Are you welcome in the city of Chicago?
a) Not after the Ketchup riots of 1840
b) Yes
Have you wet the bed in the past 24 hours?
a) Ketchup. Sorry— I mean Ketchup!
b) Um … yes …
c) No. Never. That’s baby business. No longer a baby. I’m reading the Record. Babies don’t read the Record.
If you answered option A the most, you’re definitely ketchup …
Anything else you’re probably like mayonnaise or something else that’s irrelevant.
— A. Calkins and G. Dominguez
