Me and my boyfriend have been together for like a year now, a length of time sufficient enough to participate in the commercially-pushed, saccharine-dipped holiday so-called “Valentine’s Day.” But frankly, we don’t want to, like, be a part of it because it preys upon the insecurities of weak relationships, and our relationship is better than that. We are pretty much the strongest we have ever been, so our relationship doesn’t need Valentine’s Day to validate it. Our love is validated by something real: the look that he gives me across the table at Commons. The long table. Because our relationship is about more than physical closeness. It’s about me plastering AI generated photos of us together on every available surface between his dorm and SCL because I don’t want him to miss me while on his walk. Like our relationship is just so powerful that words can’t even inhibit it. Like no matter how many times he talks about how this isn’t working and that he’s “breaking up with me,” we know that our love is deeper. And that’s why it can’t be contained to an artificial holiday. Or even just one person. Like how my boyfriend keeps hanging out and posting photos with this other girl who he is calling his girlfriend and like that totally doesn’t even mean anything because our love is just soooo strong that we know that I’m his girlfriend despite what “his new girlfriend” Jessica’s been saying. So do yourself a favor and free yourself from the confines of the capitalist money-grab that is Valentine’s Day, and enjoy it authentically with your partner, 50 feet apart as appointed by a judge.
— A. Herrmann
