Top 10 Uses the Administration is Secretly Planning for 305 College Space

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  1. Empty office as art space for contemplation of unused and inaccessible commercial real estate
  2. A place for Skull & Bones to have normal, non-secret parties
  3. Kennel for Handsome Dan (bathroom annex)
  4. Space for Yale College President Pericles Lewis’s collection of rare and expensive Central European firearms (ask him about this some time)
  5. The English Department (old offices to be used for newly hired administrators)
  6. Game room (permanently closed)
  7. Nothin, they’re just taking it
  8. Setting for the special investigative unit in season 6 of The Wire, covering corruption at Yale
  9. They’re sending the dang rooms to Ukraine!!! Enough is enough!!!!
  10. Administrative offices for new Deputy Dean of Student Organization Space Use

— A. Bonenberger

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