- Ate an Egg McMuffin at 6am and sat in a tiny chair for four hours to simulate flying out to good ol’ New Haven, CT.
- Walked around my living room looking lost with a carry-on suitcase full of Yale merch and pastel-shorts because I know that Connecticut is balmy and sunny in April.
- Wore flip-flops in the shower and got a foot infection anyway.
- Forgot people’s names: “I want to say it starts with an M…?” “It’s Mom.”
- Pretended to care about Model UN.
- Threw-up in some bushes at 3am after drinking five Four Lokos for a combined total of twenty Lokos.
- Pretended to care about Public Forum debate and whatever the hell the YPU is.
- Showed up to Marvin Chun’s house hungover as hell to ask him if brains are actually all wrinkly and pink like he says they are.
- Relayed my Public Forum debate record to everyone in sight, dog included.
- Walked into traffic and got mowed down by a Toyota Corolla.
—A. Beer
