Things That Are Flat:
Your father’s ass
The rates for Flat Rate Shippingâ„¢ at USPS
Your mother’s ass
Your mother’s EKG line
Stanley
Things That Are Not Flat:
Science Hill
The rates for comparable shipping services at DHL
Your son’s ass
Stanley before the bulletin board fell on him and he sold out
Stanley’s brother’s ass
—H. Rubin