Things You Shouldn’t Eat Here

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Rocks
You couldn’t eat them at home, so why do you think you
could eat them here?

Art
Whether they are paintings or sculptures, you should
cross all works of art off your list of things to eat
at college.

The Physics Department
The Physics Department includes buildings, which are
made of rocks. And you can’t eat rocks, remember?

Things Labeled “Not for Consumption”
“Not for consumption” is a fancy way of saying you
shouldn’t eat it. For example, vegan ravioli is “not for
consumption.”

Food at the Saybrook Dining Hall
You have 11 other choices, why choose that one?

Rocks
I know I mentioned them before, but I really wanted
to make sure that you do not eat them. And just
a reminder: This means you can’t eat the Physics
Department.

Art
We’re talking about the person now. Don’t eat him. He
is Denise’s boyfriend.

The Physics Department (faculty)
What part of “don’t eat rocks” don’t you understand?

Teddy
He is my turtle and I love him.

Asbestos
While the real danger of asbestos is inhalation, this in no
way means you should eat it. And just a reminder:
This means you can’t eat food at the Saybrook
Dining Hall.

—B. Beitler

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