The phrase “You could win 100 Grand†refers to the 100 Grand candy bar. It does not refer to a sum of money.
The winner will only receive said prize if he or she is currently dressed like a vegetable.
To receive a full refund, the product must be unopened, in its original packaging, and accompanied by your wallet.
If your erection continues for more than seven hours, you should probably have a lot of sex.
Product may contain traces of ejaculatory fluid.
Side effects may include: headaches, drowsiness, upset stomach, face-eating, uncontrollable sobbing, loss of limb, and nipple swelling.
Warning: product may disintegrate within one to two hours of purchase.
Warning: consumer may disintegrate within one to two hours of purchase.
The man in the “before†photo is actually a completely different, significantly uglier, fatter, and balder person than the man in the “after†photo.
No animals were harmed in the making of this film. Except for Spot. RIP.
—B. Marvin
