The notorious Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has announced that he’s prepared to resign in the face of Italy’s debt crisis. How’s he capping his final days in office?
- Selling all Italian government assets to his family holding company in exchange for a bottle of spit.
- Inviting all of Rome to “the biggest bunga-bunga rager this country’s ever seen.”
- Pardoning Han Solo and having him released from carbonite.
- Leaving upper-deckers in every one of his palace’s toilets.
- Filling out forms to enter the Iowa primary as a Republican candidate.
– Staff  (Kemper, Newsham)