PG-13 for pasty-faced husbands, tedious love triangles, helpless swooning
Release Date: November 18, 2011
Fun Facts About This Twilight Movie
- This trailer is 2 minutes and 29 seconds – the longest continuous stretch I have ever spent thinking about the Twilight franchise
- The “bros before hos” dogma has yet to gain traction in werewolf/vampire community
- Being a vampire is not a 100% effective form of contraception
- Unlike Harry Potter, who merely has to save the world, Bella Swan faces the far greater challenge of spinelessly deferring to the men in her life
- 50% of marriages with vampires end in divorce
- Leading causes for divorcing a vampire: lack of communication, albinism, lethal monster baby
- If you tell the first 1/2 of a story in one movie, and the next 1/4 in another movie, and the next 1/8 in another movie, and so on, you can keep on making money off of teen girls forever
~Ben Orlin