A contract for a 1965 Beatles concert is being auctioned; among its stipulations was “no segregated audiences.” What were some other demands The Beatles made?
• All screams must be on pitch
• $100,000 jelly baby insurance
• Rights to all land between Mississippi River and the Rockies
• No “accidentally” cutting off Ringo’s mic
• All bootlegs must sound really shitty
• 2/2/1 brunette/blonde/redhead mix
• Hotel declared “paternity-free zone”
• No future responsibility for NKOTB.
—Staff (Kahn, Kemper)
