CNN reports that President Obama’s disapproval rating is his highest ever. What can he do to reverse this trend?
• Wave wand, fix world
• Bring back Arrested Development
• Michele upskirt “accident”
• Let uninsured just croak, that’ll teach ’em
• Dredge up Bin Laden, kill again HARDER
• All government services 50% off, Tuesdays 4-6pm
• Use Congressional recess appointments to fill the two open positions on the Federal Reserve Board of Governors with candidates that will implement a higher inflation target, thus benefiting the economy through both a reduction in household debt and greater consumer spending…Or just, like, smile more.
• More photo-ops with that stud Biden
• Win “Dancing with the Stars”
• GOD, DAD, GET OUT OF MY ROOOOMMMUH
• Legalize marijuana
• Go to State Fair, eat deep-fried NASCAR
• STOP TRYING TO RAISE TAXES FOR MILLIONAIRES I MIGHT BE ONE SOMEDAY
• Get down on his hands and knees and take a long, hard spanking
• Take it
• Take it, you piece of shit
• Yeah, take it
• Take it
• Take it
• Take it, yeah
• Take it*
—Staff