GOP Presidential candidate Mitt Romney has announced a 59-step plan for getting the US economy growing again. What are some of the steps?
1) Call tech support
3) Abolish job-killing Daylight Savings Time
10) Virgin sacrifice
14) Expose economy to nuclear fallout, watch it grow to gargantuan size
23) Repeal job-killing nuclear disarmament treaties
33) Save money on border fence by using undocumented labor
34) Has that human-farming thing from Matrix been tried?
42) Have Americans collect gold for Chinese WOW players
44) If the toothpick emerges wet, repeat steps 22-37
47) Megan Fox (note: remember to expand on this step later)
49) Complain about jobs being outsourced to India
50) Move to India
52) sell everything and fire everybody, just like at Bain
and of course…
1) Deregulate everything
2) – 58) ??????
59) Profit!!!
—Staff (Chiasson, Harris, Kemper, Klumpp, Newsham, Thornton)
