Forecasters predict that Hurricane Irene will hit the tristate area over the weekend. How are New Yorkers preparing?
• Hoping bedbugs fucking suffer
• Buying tickets for the weekend show at Tanglewood
• Turning Broadway into “world’s longest slip ‘n’ slide”
• Assembling a crude raft out of planking hipsters
• Gearing up for the cannibalism
• Filling an emergency bag with bagels, cigarettes, and cynicism
• Being homosexuals with each other
• Moving to smaller, more distant apartment
• Building sandbag wall around Derek Jeter
• Calling National Weather Service to complain, demand refund
• Hating our troops
• Building an ark: two rats, two pigeons, two roaches.
—Staff (Chernicoff, Chiasson, Cohen-Wade, Gerber (photo), Thornton.
