Newsroom
New Oculus 2: Hands-On Review
The Record got its collective hands on a development copy of the new Oculus 2 device, announced earlier this month at the Oculus Connect...
Trump Attempts To Purchase Taco
EL PASO – Donald J. Trump, presidential candidate and part-time crooked businessman, was spotted this evening attempting to mingle with people at a taco...
Full Text Of Donald Trump’s Closing Statement At The Third Presidential Debate
I know I said I'd keep you in suspense about whether I accept the results of the election. I love suspense. It's a tremendous dramatic...
Announcing Mission To Mars, Obama Tells Depressed Nation To Just Give Up On Earth
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a historic op-ed outlining plans to send Americans to Mars by 2030, President Barack Obama told a dejected nation to...
7 Things That Aren’t Technically Prohibited On Yom Kippur, But Aren’t Earning You Any Points With The Almighty
1. Instead of listening to prayers, replaying the plot of the Star Wars prequels in your head, only every character talks like Jar-Jar Binks
It’s...
A Report From The Republican Civil War
Early Tuesday morning, Republican Donald J. Trump launched a barrage of vindictive tweets at major GOP figures in a pre-emptive strike, setting off the...
Old Campus Pigeon Delivery Service Canceled After Completely Failing in Every Way
Due to a series of unforeseen impracticalities, Yale’s latest proposal to improve the quality of on-campus dining was tragically shot down this week. The...
Ways Crooked Hillary Is Like Abraham Lincoln
Real sick and tired of dealing with racist opponents
Secretly Daniel Day-Lewis in disguise
Iconic fashion sense
Not great with emails
Didn’t fight...
Senior English Major Signs Six-Figure Advance Deal For Thesis
On Wednesday, English major Mia Dawes ‘17 signed a six-figure deal with Simon & Schuster for her forthcoming creative writing thesis. According to information...
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