⚠ Consuming hotdogs is no joke. Eating recklessly can turn a laughing matter into a choking matter real quick. 


Aside from their cumbersome but perfectly intuitive shape, their content may be unsuitable for many consumers. Side effects of consuming Frank’s Franks may include but are not limited to: virility, ecstasy, laughing fits, popularity, numbness in all appendages, rhythm, loss of fingers, shortened pregnancies, bedazzling of teeth, accelerated speed in water, dilation of the throat, and extreme hallucinations. If you put down this package, we’ll know you’re a coward. Us and the world. Everyone’s gonna know you’re as spineless as the limp hot dog you refuse to enjoy. But, as we’ve always said, if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen. At least you’re self aware. If you’re still reading, congratulations and enjoy. Remember, it is an honor to touch tongue to weiner.

H. Murray-Nelson