As a first-year, you’ll come across many a word you’re unfamiliar with that might bewilder, confuse, or even scare you. Follow along for an exhaustive list of words and phrases that will ensure that you’re in the know!

“I’m going back to work on a pset” — This is what people say when they’re going to a hookup.

“I’m calling my parents” — This is what people say when they’re going to a hookup.

“Get out! I’m in the middle of a hookup!” — What people say when they’re having a mental breakdown in their room and need a little privacy.

Dean’s Excuse — When the annoying kid named Dean in your entryway says he can’t move your couch because of his severe dust allergy.

“I grew up comfortable” — This person’s dad owns a yacht.

“My family is in the upper-middle class” — This person’s dad owns a private island.

Juxtaposition — When you have sex with your English teacher.

Do you want to grab lunch sometime? — “Fuck you.”

Let’s actually grab lunch — “Enjoy your last days on Earth, shithead.”

“Everyone’s so nice here!” — This is what you can say if you’re trying to say that moving to a new college is a really big change and you’re really trying to enjoy the circumstances you’ve been put into but the transition to college has been a really difficult task filled with an unexpected amount of emotional labor and you’re not quite sure if you truly belong here, and maybe you would have been better off going to your in-state public school near your family and with all of your friends, but you’ll probably end up being okay because at least the people are somewhat nice.

                                                                                                                       — Staff