Delta Kappa Epsilon Literature and Debate society
Many know this fraternity for their campus ‘demonstrations’ and notable alumni such as George W. Bush and Brett Kavanaugh, but few are privy to their most secretive branch, their literature and debate society. This month, they’re taking a break from their journey through The Iliad to read and reflect on Rupi Kaur’s Milk and Honey.
The Council of Davids
While The Council of Davids may be the most well-known campus council, it is, contrary to popular belief, not the first. In 1851, The Council of Ebenezers was established, eighteen years after the Charles Dickens’ blockbuster classic A Christmas Carol incited a naming frenzy. Tragically, the council was disbanded in 1907, when the last Ebenezer to attend Yale University died on the way to the hospital after being crushed by a Christmas tree.
Killing Water Buffalo Club
Forced into secrecy after the ‘No More Water Buffalo Hunting in Connecticut Act’ of 1905, the Killing Water Buffalo Club says it all in the name. They can be best described by their perennial slogan: “ecologically irresponsible on the streets, brutal masochist in the sheets.”
The Yale Record
The Yale Record is not just a source of monthly gaffes and gags. The true nature of the magazine can only be found deep beneath the surface, in the center of a labyrinth of articles and cartoons. Dear Reader, it has been arduous work, but I believe I am close to the truth. While I hope to soon present my findings in full, the inner workings of this enigmatic organization are still shrouded in secrecy. Be that as it may, this much I know: Editor in Chief Joe Wickline is not what he seems. I advise the utmost caution in his presence, and whatever you do, do not look directly into his eyes. I fear for my safety, but I will attempt to release updates in future issues.
Editor’s note: This piece is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to persons or organizations, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.
—L. Dunn
