The fear of heights evolved from a fear of birds

The fear of birds evolved from my grandma’s parrot that knows too much

The fear of snakes evolved from the Garden of Eden incident 

The fear of women evolved from the Garden of Eden incident

The fear of water evolved from peeing the cave bed and being made fun of by your cave family

The fear of failure evolved from when cave kids were mean at cave school

Homophobia evolved from when Homo Erectus was mean at cave school

The fear of public speaking evolved from when the other cave kid at the cave school Drawing Bee got “buffalo” (easy) and you got “car” (not yet invented, hard to visualize)

The fear of tight spaces evolved from cave women having narrower birthing canals

The fear of phobias evolved from the National Geographic Issue