Look, I’m no love expert. Like any normal guy, I’ve watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall and attended my parents’s couples counseling—just rookie stuff. But man oh man, my roommate Darren Richardson has got the love thing down. Darren’s a real prince among men. This fella is head over heels in love with his girlfriend Sandra at Harvard. They met at a Model UN Conference their sophomore year of high school, and the rest is history.
I got the whole relationship breakdown from Darren on my first night, and, man, love is just so beautiful when you get it right. Their meet-cute was to die for! Sandra was dating someone else at the time, but her chemistry with Darren was so electric that nothing could stand in the way. Darren know’s she’s really not the type to cheat, but she just couldn’t help herself in this one situation because Darren’s so exceptional.
Shit, half our froco group was drooling over him during orientation. But Darren, golden heart Mr. Fidelity himself, is cut from a higher cloth. Women throw themselves at him, and he just turns the other way. For god’s sake, the man bought a chastity belt from the Yale Bookstore to keep himself loyal during the temptation-fest of his Bass study sessions.
My whole suite loves hearing about Sandra, and Darren knows it. He FaceTimes her from the common room so we can hear what they talk about (how considerate is that?!) and texts our group chat every time they have an argument. His wall is plastered with photos of them together and he keeps a lock of her hair on his bedside table, alongside one of her wisdom teeth, and the gum she was chewing the first time they kissed. He told me that memories and loose teeth keep the magic alive. Every night he prays at the altar and talks to her photos, begging her to stay with him. He’s not nervous or anything—they’re rock solid—but he is just such a romantic it’s all he can think about.
I mean sure, Sandra was acting a little weird when she visited during orientation, but she was just excited. Plus Darren’s twin brother Albert at Tufts checks in on her all the time, and reports in full confidence that she only has eyes for Richardson men. You can see how close they’ve gotten from Sandra’s Instagram stories, so Albert would definitely know if there were any problems on her end. People always say long distance is doomed, but Darren shows me that if you’re super cool like him, maybe it can work out.