• Where are you from?
  • What do you do with your free time? (You’re obviously not studying.)
  • Can I write my graduate school essays about how inspiring it was to live with you and your academic struggles?
  • What’s your favorite shape?
  • Was it for your 16th or 17th birthday that your parents got that one building named after you?
  • Was it for your 16th or 17th birthday that your parents showed you real parental love?
  • What is it like to feel real parental love?
  • What is it like to know that your family supports you in all that you do, and enables you to succeed in ways far beyond petty academic awards? What is love?
  • What was it like to enjoy high school and not have to remember all those days spent in despair and dread over meaningless classes and extracurricular activities that meant nothing to you but everything to your parents?
  • Did I waste my golden years? Did any of that matter? Am I a slave to an unattainable academic standard that has no real value to me or anyone I love? Do I, in any real way… exist?
  • Are you a cat or dog guy?

—Staff