This article originally appeared in the Just for Teens Issue

 

People change and sometimes that means relationships have to end. Just look at Dad and his mistress.

They probably weren’t even listening that time at dinner when you blurted out “The spark is dead.”

The divorce couldn’t have been about you, seeing as it was the first civil case in the state of New Jersey in which neither parent wanted custody.

If you’d known your psychologist might be interested in your mom, you wouldn’t have kept telling him how hot she was.

Your younger sister Jessica was the accident. If anything, blame her.

At the end of the day, it’s not your job to be their marriage counselor, which is good because clearly you would suck at it.

 

—W. Cramer