This article originally appeared in the Just for Teens Issue
LOS ANGELES, CA—Returning from a “real as fuck” trip to Los Angeles with his au pair, 16-year-old Chad Wellington, a student at The Lawrenceville School in Princeton, NJ, affirmed his status as a “True G” Friday by posting a photo of himself making what appears to be a gang sign on a stoop in Brentwood. The photo, captioned “LA streets,” has garnered praise from Wellington’s white classmates and wealthy classmates alike.
“I always knew he was tough, but I never knew he was so street,” explained fellow student Emma-Grace Hawthorne-Slettering, who has lived in a gated community adjacent to the $50,000-a-year boarding school since birth. “He looks like he just stepped out of an XXXTentacion video. And I love that pink Vineyard Vines long sleeve!”
Wellington’s private tutor, John Alton, on the other hand, was not surprised by the post. “I’ll go in for a session with Chad sometimes and he’ll be lying in bed with his Beats on, which is what he told me all the gangsters wear. He’s usually listening to aggressive, street-style rap music like Drake or J. Cole and smoking marijuana cigarettes. ‘My God,’ I’ll think to myself, ‘this boy is higher than the thread count of his Egyptian-cotton sheets.’”
“Hell I be the illest motherfucker in this joint,” said Chad, gesturing at the other students in his A.P Language and Composition class. “I’ve seen homies like Kanye front row, man.” When asked if he would rather join the Crips or Bloods, Chad expressed a lack of familiarity with either group. “I don’t know them fake ass posers. I only got respect for real G’s, like Post Malone.”
At press time, Wellington was attempting to “dab up” Lawrenceville’s only black student, National Honor Society president Mark Fenson, as his au pair stood feet away with a camera.
—M. Strobl