This article originally appeared in the Just for Teens Issue


Christian Bale: After singing his heart out and seizing the day in the 1992 film adaptation of Newsies, Bale tapped his way straight into obscurity. His Academy Award success rate was only 33.3% as of 2015, when he lost to Hollywood’s newest shining star, Mark Rylance.

Jason Bateman: Some of you may vaguely recall Bateman as little, orphaned James Cooper in Little House on the Prairie or as bully but good friend Derek on Silver Spoons. But what ever happened to that little bowl-cut wonder? Unfortunately Bateman experienced an Arrested Development after a series of dud projects, often featuring fellow teen burnout Jason Sudeikis. If only we could go back to his Teen Wolf Too days.

Jodie Foster: Do I even need to say it? Jodie Foster’s career has been one long, cringeworthy downslide since her 1972 role as Iris, a twelve year old sex worker, in Taxi Driver. Like Bale, Foster’s Academy Award success rate is a meager 50%, compared to her 100% success rate of being “totally lame and unimportant for women in media.”

Cory Monteith: Cory has really fallen off the map after abruptly leaving Glee in 2013 because he died.

—M. Sanchez