1. Do Easter eggs come from Easter bunnies?

Yes, yes they do. The bunnies lay them straight into the baskets, and they even come out rainbow.

  1. At what age do boys start getting resurrections?

Usually between 10 and 12, though Jesus was 33.

  1. Did Aunt Helen put celery in the eggs again?


  1. Where did Grandma go?

Well, she was last spotted at the starting line for the egg hunt. I think I saw her running off into the woods, trampling Cousin Johnny on the way to a trove of Kit Kats. Let’s start there.

  1. How many chocolate bunnies can I eat without throwing up?

One…Two…Three… Three. It’s three.

—L. Kingsley