Global warming – totally still happening, but just really
slowly
GMOs– killing the entire world, but at a rate which no
one cares to acknowledge
Making the post office line longer than it needs to be –
USPS workers are still the only league of villains to
successfully unionize
Nickelback CDs – if you talk about how bad they are for
long enough, eventually you are going to start to like
them. Pure evil.
Acne– the little known villain ‘Pizza Face’ has been
smearing pepperoni grease on noses and foreheads of
adolescents in their sleep for more than 40 years now
Switching the men’s and women’s bathroom signs – one
of the Joker’s lesser known atrocities
Sidewalk cracks – breaking innocent mothers backs is
about as villainous as it gets
Anthrax – this one kind of just fizzled out, but your
parents might have been terrified by it for a little bit
PETA – this group of animal lovers is actually a bunch
of animal villains wearing human disguises fighting
for the subjugation of the human race
Unequal pay for women – wait, why has no one done
anything about this yet?
—J. Lancione
