Newsroom
Burning Pile of 274,000 Dollar Bills To Headline Spring Fling
NEW HAVEN, CT — In a surprise announcement Wednesday night at Toad’s, it was revealed that, rather than procuring a lineup of performers for...
Econ Department Unveils “Accounting and the Good Life” Course
NEW HAVEN — Citing declining enrollment and life satisfaction among majors, the economics department announced Thursday that it would offer a course in “Accounting...
“Told You So” Says Karl Marx To Dead Black Friday Shoppers
HEAVEN -- In the wake of one of the most brutal Black Fridays in recorded history, sources say that German political philosopher Karl Marx...
Student Looks at Pinboard
NEW HAVEN, CT — Yesterday, amidst gasps from onlooking passers-by, Susie Marks ‘21 actually looked at the pinboard on Cross Campus. According to sources, Marks...
“Just To Piggyback Off That Thought For A Second,” Reports First-Year Seminar Student, About To Piggyback Off That Thought For A Second
NEW HAVEN, CT – When Alex McNeil ‘21 began shopping his first-year seminar, “Art of the Science of the Modern Technology of Public Policy...
Hurricane Irma Unprepared for Florida
TALLAHASSEE, FL—As Hurricane Irma hurdles towards Florida’s coast, the state’s notoriously brash residents are gearing up to fight the storm.
“We’ll show Irma what Floridians...
BREAKING: Marvin Chun Named Marvin
In a 1967 birth, psychology and neuroscience professor Marvin Chun was named Marvin by his parents, University President Peter Salovey announced in a Thursday...
Rumpus Experiences Lucky Break, As 99.08% Of Students Reveal They “Wouldn’t Have Wanted to Be in ‘50 Most’ Anyway”
NEW HAVEN — After the Yale Rumpus released its annual "50 Most" issue Wednesday, 5,403 Yale undergraduates announced that they "wouldn’t have wanted to...
We Answered The Questions You Were Too Embarrassed To Ask About Today’s Hearing On Russian Interference
Comey, false allegations of wiretapping, NSA, CIA ... we get it, there's a lot going on. But we also understand that for these questions,...
Report: You, The Reader Of This Piece Who Hasn’t Locked Down A Summer Internship, Are Literally Worthless Shit
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — A new report released Thursday by the Yale Office of Career Strategy found that you, the only Yale undergraduate still...
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