Newsroom
Rumpus Experiences Lucky Break, As 99.08% Of Students Reveal They “Wouldn’t Have Wanted to Be in ‘50 Most’ Anyway”
NEW HAVEN — After the Yale Rumpus released its annual "50 Most" issue Wednesday, 5,403 Yale undergraduates announced that they "wouldn’t have wanted to...
We Answered The Questions You Were Too Embarrassed To Ask About Today’s Hearing On Russian Interference
Comey, false allegations of wiretapping, NSA, CIA ... we get it, there's a lot going on. But we also understand that for these questions,...
Report: You, The Reader Of This Piece Who Hasn’t Locked Down A Summer Internship, Are Literally Worthless Shit
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — A new report released Thursday by the Yale Office of Career Strategy found that you, the only Yale undergraduate still...
Divinity School Introduces Study Abroad Opportunity In Heaven
NEW HAVEN — Dean of Yale Divinity School Gregory Sterling announced yesterday that starting this summer, Yale students will have the opportunity to take...
Big League Blunder: President Trump Will Not Stop Calling Baseball’s Highest Officials His “Little Trumpires”
Continuing a polarizing first month in office, Donald Trump alienated a large swath of the American population yesterday by publicly referring to baseball’s referees...
Theo Epstein Breaks 43-Year Streak Of Not Being Yale Class Day Speaker
Baseball executive Theo Epstein '95 was announced as the Yale Class Day speaker on Sunday, snapping the storied 43-year curse of him not being...
America’s Sweetheart: When This Fan’s Horse Got Sick, Taylor Swift Euthanized It Onstage
CLEVELAND — Pop sensation Taylor Swift had a special surprise for one lucky fan during her sold-out concert at the Quicken Loans Arena this...
Yale Corporation: We Changed Calhoun College Name Fifty Years Ago
Marshella Margarita, Chairwoman of the Yale Corporation, announced earlier today a surprise half-centennial celebration of the renaming of Calhoun College.
Her irritation at leaving the...
DeVos Confirmed After Promising Republican Senators Double Recess, Pizza Fridays
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Senate confirmed Republican mega-donor Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education on Tuesday, after DeVos managed to secure fifty votes by...
Trump Orders Covert Operation To Kill White House Press Corps
National Security Advisor Michael T. Flynn today announced the successful elimination of the majority of the White House Press Corps. “With dozens of assassinations...
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