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DeVos Confirmed After Promising Republican Senators Double Recess, Pizza Fridays
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Senate confirmed Republican mega-donor Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education on Tuesday, after DeVos managed to secure fifty votes by...
Trump Orders Covert Operation To Kill White House Press Corps
National Security Advisor Michael T. Flynn today announced the successful elimination of the majority of the White House Press Corps. “With dozens of assassinations...
Yale Student Relieved He Can Use “Going to Yale” As His Interesting Fact Over The Holidays
Jacob Richardson ‘20 is reportedly very thankful to be back in his hometown over winter break. He has been reunited with his family, and...
Student Creates Return Receipt System For Dating
In what experts call a revolutionary new way to combine romance, self-help, and sexual objectification, Jessica Meyers MC ’18, president of the Yale Entrepreneurial...
Statement Of Warranty On The Trump Presidency
The results of the 2016 election are not the responsibility of Secretary Clinton, her campaign, or any of her associates. There are no refunds...
Rudolph Dons Blue Nose To Protest Election Results
Rudolph, longtime navigator of Santa Claus’s sleigh, has confirmed reports that his nose was blue during Christmas Eve gift deliveries. The change of nose...
Hideous International Student Starting To Doubt Whether Girls Actually Do ‘Dig The Accent’
Having had little romantic success since arriving at Yale in August, blatantly hideous freshman David Mullins, of Newcastle, U.K,. has begun to question the...
Off Campus Students Form Committee To Establish Principles On Doing The Fucking Dishes
After months of contention, a group of off-campus Yale students residing at 144 Dwight Street has formed a Committee to Establish Principles on Doing...
In Latest Piece, YDN Columnist Strikes Perfect Balance Between Vanity And Narcissism
NEW HAVEN, CT — After a marathon writing session Wednesday night, freshman Joshua Winters reportedly put the finishing touches on his latest YDN column,...
Harvard Introduces New Mascot, Crimson XVIII
According to a report from Harvard University Athletics, the newest Harvard mascot, Crimson XVIII, has been selected.
The Crimson was born on Sept. 23, 2016,...
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