1. You’re running to a community theater class that starts at 4 p.m. and you’ve been waiting for “Introduction to the Art of Mime” all month, so you won’t be able to go to Jimmy’s Little League game with everyone else.
  2. You’re busy getting on a flight for the World-Historical-Association-sponsored expedition to dig out a newly found Mayan acropolis ruin in south Yucatán.
  3. You have a news interview scheduled on Channel 4 to discuss the clip of you getting stuck in an invisible box that went viral and got 12.2 million views.
  4. You’re running to rehearsal because a prominent Broadway director has asked you to be the star of a one-person miming production of Les Mis that opens in two weeks.
  5. Your roommate’s feeling really down after her puppy fighting ring was broken up by the Yale P.D. Animal Control Division, and you have to be there to support her.
  6. The raging success of your Broadway show has caused Paramount to cast you as the star of a dramedy biopic about the life of French mime Marcel Marceau and you have a table read at 11 a.m. so you can’t make Sunday Brunch.
  7. You got a flat tire and it turns out the spare tire in the back of your car was actually an antique wooden wagon wheel. 
  8. You’re going to have to attend the Oscars afterparty of your 98% Rotten-Tomatoes-rated film Marcel’s Farewell so you can’t go to the family’s Oscar Viewing Party of your 98% Rotten-Tomatoes-rated film Marcel’s Farewell.
  9. Your miming career has caused you to take up an oath of silence, to show the world that only through the Covenant of the Silent Clown can one achieve true bliss, so you won’t be much fun at Family Trivia Night and it’s probably best for everyone if you just don’t go.
  10. You’re feeling sick and can’t make it.

—N. Weiss