NEW HAVEN, CT—John Caldwell James Harrington Calhoun VIII, Hopper ’22.5, is receiving university-wide praise after publicly denouncing his family’s controversial past. “I just want to make one thing clear,” announced Calhoun, “I understand the trauma that my ancestors put innocent human beings through. And that is why I am dedicating my life to making a difference.”
Calhoun went on: “I understand that I will never understand. However, I stand.”
Calhoun claims he knew such a strenuous moral decision was looming in his future: “I definitely felt the pressure,” Calhoun explained, “but the thought of continuing that legacy just didn’t feel right for me, for the person I want to become, or for the world I want John Caldwell James Harrington Calhoun IX to inherit someday.”
But things became tense in Calhoun’s New York penthouse when he explained his decision to his father, John Caldwell James Harrington Calhoun VII.
“My dad said I was giving up my dream, but I had to be frank with him and say, ‘No, Dad, I’m giving up yours,’” Calhoun VIII explained. “I refuse to work at a corrupt and elitist institution like Goldman Sachs. It doesn’t align with my social conscience. I want to make a difference in the world, and that’s why I’ll be accepting a position at Morgan Stanley.”