I just saw the bestest movie, and I really liked it a lot! It was an awesome movie and very very fun to watch. I liked the singing and the songs and the talking animals and the themes of social class structure in conjunction with the loss of morals in the pursuit of political power. It is called The Lion King, and I watched it with my mommy and daddy. I liked it so much that I watched it again and again on my iPad! But there is one part that always scares me. 

In the movie, Simba thinks he accidentally killed his dad who is also a lion named Mufasa. I don’t want to Mufasa my dad! If I accidentally killed him by causing a big stampede, he would probably be really upset and disappointed with me. Then he would be dead and that would be really really sad and mommy would probably be very very mad at me. 

This would play into Sigmund Freud’s Oedipus complex theory and make it appear that I harbored resentment towards my father because of the subconscious desire I feel for my mother. I don’t want to be an example of Mr. Freud’s refuted, irreplicable theories of psychosexual development! I don’t like Mr. Freud, I don’t want to be associated with any of his asinine theories and, most importantly, I don’t want my daddy to be like Mufasa and get all trampled to death by a lot of big angry deer. Hakuna Matata is my favorite song from the movie.

—A. Beer

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