1. Do a vocabulary check – Make sure your child is using grade-appropriate words in their writing. Instead of “coochie” and “willy,” suggest more intellectual terms like “python of love” or “sweet cocoon of passion and nectar” to get those creative juices flowing. 

2. Assess their reading comprehension – A family-guided reading of a tasteful orgy fanfiction can sharpen your child’s understanding of key terms and concepts. Consider starting a book club with some neighbors to discuss the subversive power of tentacles and cuckolding in fiction. 

3. Try some narrative exercises – Help your child work through key elements of storytelling like exposition and denouement. Is the exhibitionist foreplay paced smoothly? What happens after the climax? How can they resolve the erectile dysfunction sub-plot? Challenge your young writer with these questions and push them into literary excellence.    

4. Explore diverse figurative language – George Orwell once said to “never use a … figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print,” and the same policy applies to erotica. Say goodbye to trite expressions like “fireworks” and “waves of pleasure.” Try something new like comparing cunnilingus to the Normandy landings or dinosaurs at a watering hole. 

5. Stage a re-enactment of your child’s work with your neighbor to give them a visual understanding of their writing – This creative trial by fire might seem intimidating, but remember that pressure makes diamonds and you want only the best for your future author. 

—M. Melnik

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